Volume One

Number One - January 1977
Editorial Policies
Quote Without Comment
The Wandering Scholar
What Can We Do?

Number Two - February 1977
Grammar and Ecology
Glimmerings
The Immortal Words of...
What Can We Do?
The Wind-up Toy Award

Number Three - March 1977
The Glassboro Plumbers
Kettles & Pots
What Can We Do?
Correction
The IN Basket

Number Four - April 1977
Get Thee To A Library
Another Vice-President Heard From
Seeks Lengvitches I Ahm Spikking Anglitch De Bast
The Immortal Words of...
Brief Notes

Number Five - May 1977
Nolo episcopari
The 16.2 per cent Solution
The immortal words of John Ottiano
News and Notes

Number Six - September 1977
Some Good Advice for New Students
Mark Chamberlain Writes Again!
Laser, Shmazer
English Lives!
Brief Notes

Number Seven - October 1977
J. Ronald Posey
Glassboro State Thousands Sold!
Let'em Eat Twinkies
And That's Not All!
English Lives!
Brief Notes

Number Eight - November 1977
Which Hunting in The Underground Grammarian
Dear Grammarian
Brief Notes

Number Nine - December 1977
The Sin of Clumsiness
A Narrow View
Long Underdue
Enlish Lives!
Brief Notes

Volume Two

Number One - January 1978
Labor Relations Prose: Victim of Imperatives
Chewing Blubber
Ask a Stip Question...

Number Two - February 1978
Sea Isle City 3, Glassboro 0
Our Flagship

Number Three - March 1978
A Light Shines in the Parking Lot!
NCATE Evaluation Newly Disclosed: GSC Teacher Training Found Adequate!
Feats of Clay, Continued
Brief Notes

Number Four - April 1978
A Leaf in the Wind and Straw
Gschmrub Ahoy!
Scientia coronet - More or Less
Brief Notes

Number Five - May 1978
Good English...
By Fons, as Told to Origo

Number Six - September 1978
The Works of Scriblierus X. Machina
Teratology
Good News from Texas...and Bad

Number Seven - October 1978
Pluralites ponenda est!
Nobody here but us Professionals
Teratology
Make It BIG! Be a Scribe!
accidently

Number Eight - November 1978
Yes, Virginia, there is a Free Lunch
The Steaming Bird
Feeeelings...wahwahwah
More on Dallas
Opacity in Iowa
Lagafo Lives!
"Reading Problems"

Number Nine - December 1978
The Annual Report
A Minimum Competance to all, and to all a Good Night!
Impaction

Volume Three

Number One - January 1979
Happy New Year
DEd on Arrival
Life Skills and Facet Depth in Trenton
Teratology

Number Two - February 1979
The Idea of Expressing Feelings in New Mexico
Vox injumana, mens insana
Teratology
Th IN Basket

Number Three - March 1979
Enough of this Love-making
Sticht in the Eye Again
A Hardy Perennial
Curiosity Corner
Teratology

Number Four - April 1979
The Proseffors of Eglinsh
Eric Smeac's Practice-related Information Domain
Brief Notes

Number Five - May 1977
Three Mile Island Syndrome
Song and Dance in Tennessee
A Brief Note

Number Six - September 1979
Clenched Teeth on the Potomac
Gschmrub Ahoy Again!
Brief Notes

Number Seven - October 1979
A Big "A" for Effort
Up the Jolly Roger!
Prostate Trouble at NJEA

Number Eight - November 1979
The Answering of Kautski
Pontiffs and Peasants
The Steaming Bird
Brief Notes

Number Nine - December 1979
Bah Humbug!
The Missouri Compromise
All-Purpose Gobbledygook
Teratology

Volume Four

Number One - January 1980
Reflections at Three
The Holistic Hustle
Teratology
Brief Notes

Number Two - February 1980
Naming of Parts
The Black Whole of Connecticut
The Long Spoon Effect
SEX
Teratology
Brief Notes

Number Three - March 1980
The Royko Papers
Ana Enemy of the People
The Nonredundant Interactive Relationship of Perceived Teacher Directiveness and Student Personological Variables to Grades and Satisfaction

Number Four - April 1980
Flight of the Bumblebee
The Most Unkindest Cuttin Edge of All
Teratology
Brief Notes

Number Five - May 1980
The Turkey Has Landed
The Future Lies Ahead!
Strictly for the Birds
Forging out, from a very pouralistic Dynamic and Deficits wrapping around a Core, the Criteriology of the Maelstrom of Matrices in the Field at Hand

Number Six - September 1980
The Necks and Minds of the People
The Turkeys Crow in Texas
Teratology
Hufstedler Speaks!
Guarding the Guardians of the Guards

Number Seven - October 1980
Aim All Right, Juanito
Gschmrubbers Appraised to be Good
Spinach
Teratology

Number Eight - November 1980
The Sound of One Eraser Clapping
Yet Another for the Gipper
Curiosity Corner

Number Nine - December 1980
The Grossest of National Products
The Medium is the Massage
The Ballons Nodule
Teratology
Brief Notes

Volume Five

Number One - January 1981
Yet Another Four More Years
The Glendower Glitch
The Reformulation of Conceptualization
The Social and Affective Development of Minority Status Children

Number Two - February 1981
Voucher, Schmoucher
Strangers in Paradigm, or, The Hegemony Connection
the paradigm exchange
A Certain Trumpet

Number Three - March 1981
The Principal and the Interest
Uncomfortable Words
Alexander the Haigiographer

Number Four - April 1981
The Interest and the Principle
Politics and the Eglinsh Language
...And furthermore

Number Five - May 1981
The Little Old Lady and the Linguist
Approaching, from our positive heteronymou perspective, an epistemological purview, we can expand our delivery system of the word and say
New Highs and New Lows - Big Bucks for Bantam Books in Booboisie
Summertime...

Number Six - September 1981
The Principals of the Thing
The Other Ignorant Army
The Great Iacono Flap

Number Seven - October 1981
Hopefully, We Could Care Less
A Little R n' R
Come in, Gschmrub!
Teratological Corner

Number Eight - November 1981
Third from the Left
Tongues of Ice
Awareness Grows in Cincinnati!

Number Nine - December 1981
Let Something You Dismay
A Little Heavy Thinking
The Leaning Tower of Babel

Volume Six

Number One - January 1982
Nox quondam, nox futura
Quatily [higher] Ecudation in NJ
Teratology
The Arrogance of Humanis

Number Two - February 1982
The Affective Functionary Action
The Same Old Witchcraft
And a few words from Emerson
The Molinari Module

Number Three - March 1982
Respeak In Monmouth
An Enemy of the People Revisited
Teratology

Number Four - April 1982
Maximum Brain Dysfunction
They Also Serve Who Only Look for Work
Missing Linker?
Kollege Kredit Kourse No. 6291
Teratology

Number Five - May 1982
The Proud Walkers
Sheer Doctoral Competence
The Lady with the Lump
Summer Reading
Notes from Central Control

Number Six - September 1982
Education Going to Pot
The Gingham Dog and the Calico Cat
Instruments of Precision
And furthermore...
Over the Rainbow Way up High

Number Seven - October 1982
Children of Perez
Camera Obscura
And furthermore
Guarding the Guardians of the Guards

Number Eight - November 1982
Sayings Brief and Dark
To be to Some chewed Books Tasted Are Swallowed to digested, and Others be, and Some be Few
The Steaming Bird
And furthermore...
A Brief Note from Central Control

Number Nine - December 1982
Jack and the Bomb or, the Giant's Jolly Christmas
The Bomb
And Furthermore...
Season's Admonitions

Volume Seven

Number One - February 1983
The Teacher of the Year Daniel Stephenson, of Salt Lake City
Department of Gaga
The Master of those Who Know
Notes from Central Control

Number Two - March 1983
The Children of the State
The I of the Beholder
Only the Worthwhile Facts, Ma'am
An Editorial Thought by Richard (Dick) Buckley

Number Three - April 1983
The King Canute Commission
Prometheus Rebound

Number Four - May 1983
The Invers Proportin
The Reason of Rhyme
Voodoo Educology - Department of Temporal Plasticity
Notes from Central Control

Number Five - September 1983
As Maine Goes...
The Stand-up Cosmic of Texas
A Lecture on Politics

Number Six - October 1983
Up Pops Optimism
The Mouths of Babes

Number Seven - November 1983
Real Good in Detroit
We, and the People - The King Canute Commission Revisited

Number Eight - December 1983
Reading Maketh Nitwits in New York
The Education of "William Thorburn"
The Excerpts
Notes on Forgotten Wisdom
Amazing Blurb Contest! ...along with Other Notes from Central Control

Volume Eight

Number One - February 1984
Sorrowful words of Dole
A Sense of Ease
Solemn News
Nothing to Fear But Fear

Number Two - March 1984
Foundations of Education 101
An Answer for Everything
Vocabulary Corner considers...The Bachelor of Orts and a Little Twitch of Alvarado Too

Number Three - April 1984
The Saltine Solution
The Athiest Child and Other Child Prodogies
A Special Place in Heaven

Number Four - May 1984
Hours of Pain-free Sleep
A Seat of Sympathy - A Colossal Pain in the Bowel
Summer Notes from Central Control

Number Five - September 1984
The Religious Life in America
Hunger in America
We Toot a Salute! and Brief Notes
And Furthermore...

Number Six - October 1984
The Governor's Mouth
All the Glib Examinees
On Account of Because

Number Seven - November 1984
The Disappearance of Everybody
Compassion in California

Number Eight - December 1984
The Machine Stops - Pulling the Plug in Peoria
Run, Babbit, Run! - Businessism in Academe
The Goodness of Good English

Volume Nine

Number One - February 1985
Comes the Revolution?
The King of America
Dear Readers, A Word from the Assistant Circulation Manager

Number Two - March 1985
An Unnecessary Evil
The Preferization of Complex Relations
And Furthermore...

Number Three - April 1985
The Roll Model of Oregon
G. K. Chesterton on Lost Lucidity
With Friends Like These
Brief Notes

Number Four - May 1985
The Dawn of Posthistory
Parasitology
The Hand the Rocks the Helm

Number Five - September 1985
Straws in an Ill Wind
A Sharing Time on the Rug
Leaflets for the Masses
Brief Notes - Shame at Last

Number Six - October 1985
Yet Another Losing Season
Trivial Pusuits
The Epistle to the Civilians

Number Seven - November 1985
In the Year Zero
The Evidencing of Realization (The Steaming Bird)
The Knowledge-Acquisition Component of the Experiential Continuum
Brief Notes
Freedom of the Press and License, Too

Number Eight - December 1985
In the Year Zero Forever!
And Furthermore... (Walter Karp)
The Bright Angleic Mills
Stillness Education
The Hinterback of the Debate

Volume Ten

Number One - February 1986
Psychoevolutionisticism in Actual Decline!
Through a Kwack, Darkly
The Real Jane Austin Stands Up
People Like Us

Number Two - March 1986
The Real Thing
The Great Washed
The Garbage Pail Letter

Number Three - April 1986
The Dumping Grounds
In Texas...
Bobby Reads the Big Book
The Revenge of the Walking Dead

Number Four - May 1986
The Many Mad Masters
Walking in Another's Shoes by Marge Hoge
Keeping Them Simple
The Categorical Imperative Blues
Summer Notes from Central Control

Number Five - September 1986
Injury and Insult in Orono
A Nation Bamboozled
Innovation Abstracts Abstracts

Number Six - October 1986
The Thing Which Is Not
The Fear of God in Inez Bull
About as Fer as They Kin Go
Brief Notes

Number Seven - November 1986
The Flightless Birds of Academe
The Overhead Socratic Projector
Hypatia Strikes Back
And furthermore...

Number Eight - December 1986
A Surfeit of Dearth
Brief Notes
The Rabbit-Moving HOTS
Sometimes, It Doesn't Always Work

Volume Eleven

Number One - February 1987
Influxing Fun in Florida
Brief Notes
All The Books They Have
Fighters For Peace

Number Two - March 1987
The Polyphemus Fallacy
The Living End in View
The Great Booklets Society

Number Three - April 1987
Pilgrims Progressive
Plain English Strikes Again
Plain English at Last
Brief Notes

Number Four - May 1987
The Spin of Plato in His Grave
Courtesy Month in Baltimore
*D*A*V*I*D* W.* *P*A*R*R*O*T* Director of Life!
Summer Notes from Central Control

Number Five - September 1987
Uncontrollable Emissions
I know not what course others may take, but as for me, give me Democracy or give me death!
Education for Democracy
Brief Notes

Number Six - October 1987
Wise Choices in Peoria
The Amherst Bestiary
Absit Omen in Leeds
Brief Notes

Number Seven - November 1987
The Age of Outformation
The Witching Our
And furthermore...

Number Eight - December 1987
The Uptight Straightshooters
More Friends Like These
The Unbook Unreview

Volume Twelve

Number One - February 1988
The Lessons We Learn
Taking Five Baby Steps
Brief Notes

Number Two - March 1988
Doing the Asking
Wacky Enough for Paleogos
Philosophy in California
And furthermore...

Number Three - April 1988
Ask a Stupid Question
The Real Thing

Number Four - May 1988
The Accidental Teacher
The Fourth Learning
The Tiny Anthology - Selected Passages from Various Pieces by S. Leonard Rubinstein

Number Five - September 1988
The Panamanian Panda Paradigm
Euthyphro Lives!
The Seepage on the Back

Number Six - October 1988
One Little Reason
Gone in a Minute
Patting the Cheese

Number Seven - November 1988
Watching the Moon
The Paradise of Bosses
Brief Notes

Number Eight - December 1988
The Mixed Nuts Formula
The Chelsea Proviso
Bokes for to Rede

Volume Thirteen

Number One - February 1989
Go Sell the Spartans
Crying for the Moon
Shrill from the Wimp

Number Two - March 1989
The Great Divide
The Other Bird
And furthermore...

Number Three - April 1989
The Pi-eyed Pipers
The Slough of Disparity
Brief Notes

Number Four - May 1989
Clouds on the Horizen
Merely Decent in the Cold
An Abolus for the Mindmen
Summer Notes from Central Control

Number Five - September 1989
The Curriculum from Hell
The Articles of War
Brief Notes

Number Six - October 1989
Dies Irae in Academe
Nothing More To Say
Brief Notes

Number Seven - November 1989
Come, Let Us Prey!
The Just Counselor
Grammaticaller Than Thou
The Findings of Science

Number Eight - December 1989
Wholisticismisticness
Absent Voices
Brief Notes

Volume Fourteen

Number One - February 1990
Heretics and Malignants
Brief Notes

Number Two - March 1990
The Ordeal by Fire
Dust on Teachers' Shelves
Postscript on the Poem
Brief Notes

Number Three - April 1990
Timor Mortis in Academe
The Uses of Audacity
Brief Notes
The Great Picnic

Number Four - Autumn 1990
The Larger Order
Depending on Johnny
The Shape of Things to Come

Number Five - Winter 1990
The Roman System
The Mysterious West
Twigs, Trees, and Roots
The Great Picnic and More

Volume Fifteen

Number One - Spring 1991
In the Time of the Willies
The Killer Bees
Psyche Papers Number One - Dry Bones in a Dry Season
Fanny Mitchell's Fell Hand

Number Two - Summer 1991
The Stories People Tell
Political Correctness One Last Time
The Grammar Buffs' Corner
Psyche Papers Number Two - Reading the Real Truth
Second Great Picnic Looms

Number Three - Fall 1991
Jam Today at Last!
What a Very Singular Deep Young Man Department
And furthermore...
Psyche Papers Number Three - Intimations of Possibility
Brief Notes

Number Four - Winter 1991
Running on Empty
Words, Words, Words
Psyche Papers Number Four - Psyche in Darkness

The Great Booklets

Writing Against Your Life

Why Good Grammar?

The First Great Booklet

The Second Great Booklet

The Third Great Booklet

The Fourth Great Booklet

What to Do till the Undertaker Comes

Less Than Words Can Say

Foreword

1. The Worm in the Brain

2. The Two Tribes

3. A Bunch of Marks

4. The Voice of Sisera

5. "let's face it Fellows"

6. Trifles

7. The Columbus Gap

8. The Pill

9. A Handout of Material

10. Grant Us, O Lord

11. Spirits from the Vasty Deep

12. Darkling Plain English

13. Hydra

14. The Turkeys that Lay the Golden Eggs

15. Devices and Desires

16. Naming and Telling

17. Sentimental Education

Critical Bilbliography

The Graves of Academe

Foreword

Propositions Three and Seven

The End of the String

The Wundter of It All

The Seven Deadly Principles

The Principles March On

The Pygmies Revenge

Problem-Solving in the Content Area

Every Three Second

Afterword: Plus Ca Change

The Leaning Tower of Babel

Introduction: Mitchell's Muse by Thomas H. Middleton

I. ON THE NATURE OF LANGUAGE
* Hopefully, We Could Care Less
* The Leaning Tower of Babel
* The Proud Walkers
* To Be to Some Chewed Books Tasted Are Swallowed...

II. READING AND WRITING A LA MODE
* Yes, Virginia, there is a Free Lunch
* A Minimum Competence to all, and to all a Good Night!
* Three Mile Island Syndrome
* The Turkeys Crow in Texas
* New Highs, New Lows
* The Same Old Witchcraft
* The Teacher of the Year

III. ON LANGUAGE AND THE POWER OF THOUGHT
* Instruments of Precision
* All-Purpose Gobbledygook
* Naming of Parts
* Forging out, from a very pluralistic Dynamic...
* Sayings Brief and Dark
* The Master of Those Who Know
* Prometheus Rebound

IV. BASIC MINIMUM CHRISTIANISM
* Uncomfortable Words
* The Other Ignorant Army
* Tongues of Ice
* Over the Rainbow Way up High
* The Gingham Dog and the Calico Cat

V. THE SOCIAL SCENE
* I'm All Right, Juanito IV:7
* Voucher, Schmoucher 2/81
* Maximum Brain Dysfunction 4/82
* The I of the Beholder 3/83
* The Invers Proportin 5/83
* The King Canute Commission 4/83

VI. MANGLED LANGUAGE (ELEMENTARY DIVISION)
* Sticht in the Eye
* Eric Smeac's Practice-related Information Domain
* A Brief Note
* Spinach
* The Lady with the Lump

VII. QUIS CUSTODIET...
* A Big "A" for Effort
* The Principal and the Interest
* The Interest and the Principle
* ...And furthermore
* The Great Iacono Flap
* Sheer Doctoral Competence

VIII. THE MAKING OF TEACHERS
* Awareness Grows in Cincinnati!
* Department of Gaga
* Voodoo Educology
* The Glendower Glitch
* The Sound of One Eraser Clapping
* The Ballons Nodule
* Yet Another for the Gipper!

IX. MANGLED LANGUAGE (ADVANCED DIVISION)
* The Porseffors of Eglinsh
* The Reformulation of Conceptualization
* Strangers in Paradigms, or, The Hegemony Connection
* Respeak in Monmouth
* They Also Serve Who Only Look for Work
* Missing Linker?
* Camera Obscura
* Politics and the Eglinsh Language

X. THE POLITICAL WORTH OF IGNORANCE
* The Answering of Kautski
* The Necks and Minds of the People
* Nox quondam, nox futura!
* The Children of Perez
* ...And furthermore
* Joanne the Jack-Killer
* The Mouths of Babes
* As Maine Goes...
* The Children of the State
* A Lecture on Politics

The Gift of Fire

Introduction

1. Who Is Socrates, Now That We Need Him?

2. The Square of the Hypotenuse

3. The Land of We All

4. The Right Little Thing

5. The Gift of Fire

6. Children and Fish

7. The Perils of Petronilla

8. Sad Stories of the Death of Kings

9. Home Rule

10. Colonialism

11. The World of No One At All

12. How to Live (I Think)